i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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