My first STD was from a foam party
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
