Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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