i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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