They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
