By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
