His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
