Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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