The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm at about main and main street
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
