3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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