Have you finally orgasmed yet?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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