Just cropdusted the office
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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