I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
