i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
