She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
