i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So squirting runs in the family.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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