At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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