3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
