Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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