It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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