I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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