Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
