bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
