Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
