I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
