I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
