Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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