He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
