so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize