my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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