I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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