you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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