he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just cropdusted the office
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
