yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
