I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
