do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize