why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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