She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
