I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
