idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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