You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Come on in and take your pants off
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