It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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