What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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