im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
