i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
