Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
