he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
