And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
