$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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