This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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