its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
