i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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