Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think my moral compass just broke
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize