she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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