How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
