Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
