so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have already put on my inside pants.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
