he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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