Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
