i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
